The more you expect, the more you get disappointed in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Related topics: Wisdom Cynical Expectation Demands Psychology Thanks Simple
Be clear that expectations are demands.
Demanding that life turn out the way we prefer
is a sure path to disappointment and suffering.
Happiness lies in having no expectations,
and accepting life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are not your mind. You, a Spiritual BEing,
are neither your mind nor your body.
Mind and body are your tools - to use as you choose.
Sometimes your body appears to have a will of its own,
as when it twitches or pains.
Likewise, your mind often appears to have its own will.
That incessant chattering of regret, disappointment, guilt,
shame, foreboding, worry, and fear
is your Rattlesnake Mind striking off on its own.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A newborn does not have worry, or stress, or anger,
because they have not yet learned those things.
Consider what life would be like if you could
forget all the past resentments and perceived offenses
that color your thinking and your emotions.
Buddhists call that state "beginner mind" -
an opening to experience life
without the jaundiced filter of past disappointments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Regrets and their cousins, resentments,
are a huge cause of self-inflicted suffering.
Sometimes it takes years of psychotherapy
to gain freedom from regrets about what you did or did not do,
and freedom from resentment over what others did or did not do.
Sometimes it takes a lifetime of self-talk to remember
to put the past in the past where it belongs.
However, sometimes a simple symbolic act can help immeasurably
to grant ourselves freedom from the past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Pay It Forward.
Gift future generations in proportion to your gratitude.
The nature of life is that we pay forward
our biological creation and nurture.
Our parents gift us with life and nurture,
and we gift our children with life and nurture.
While this much is essential to continued human existence,
choose to take "pay it forward" farther - much farther.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let us honor all children,
and put ourselves into service
preparing a magnificent
earthly home for future generations.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Believe in the goodness of life.
Believe in the power of time to heal and to renew.
Believe in the power of forgiveness and gratitude.
Believe in the gift of rainbows and butterflies.
Believe in the laughter of children.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you doubt the virtue in self-honor,
remember what the flight attendant says,
"Put your own oxygen mask on first."
You are of no use to anyone else
if you have not taken care of your own needs first -
this includes your own emotional,
as well as physical, well-being.
In addition, your greatest value to your children,
your family, your friends, and your community
is the example you set, leading a great life that inspires
those around you to emulate your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I gratefully accept the light and pay it forward.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Rainbows and butterflies are themselves beautiful and highly symbolic,
but they are also representative of
all the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Look closely... See with new eyes...
Don't just pass by what is familiar without a thought.
Pay attention and look closely.
There is beauty - there is discovery -
there in a whole new world hiding
beneath the face of the familiar.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Footprints in the sand...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Pay attention.
Don't let resentments or pessimism answer for you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The ugliest word in the world is revenge.
It spells hate; it spells fear; it spells greed.
For my loss, I must kill; I must steal - must avenge.
It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best cure for our own self-inflicted suffering
is often service to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our lives are defined not by the challenges we encounter,
but by how we respond to those challenges.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are powerless to redesign the world,
but we have infinite power to create our appreciation of it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose to See Beauty and Joy:
Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The River of Life flows - and all else is our drama.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our world is magnificent - all of it.
Rejoice and give thanks.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
NECESSITY and URGENCY are twin poisons of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We see Life through the fun-house mirrors of our point-of-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We do not always see what is before our face -
sometimes we see what we hope to see,
or fear we will see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We get to CHOOSE the meaning for our lives.
Our lives mean exactly what we say they do - no more, no less.
Each of us chooses their path in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our relationships - love and friendship -
are at the core of the meaning of our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only when life is difficult,
are we challenged to become our greatest selves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each one of us has our own perspective
on everything we see in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking
our cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is,
"Life is not supposed to be fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
See life as ugly and painful - if you choose,
or see it as beautiful and joyful.
There is no inherent meaning in life.
We give life its meaning.
It's our Choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Adversity can crush our spirit -
or strengthen it - it is our choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whether we allow external events to
shape our lives at a core level
is very much within our own control.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Action is our greatest weapon against fear.
Left to molder, fear grows upon itself,
but in the face of action,
fear is left in the dust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most everything in life is about our
point-of-view rather than any absolute.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our mettle is tested by storms,
not by calm.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We censor our actions, but
our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
At the Core of Our Suffering
are those Self-Imposed Limitations (Assumptions)
of which We are Completely Unaware.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
However carefully we plan our future,
we are always climbing the steps to nowhere.
While it is important to our happiness
that we have an intent for our lives,
it is equally crucial to accept in advance
that we truly have no idea how our lives will turn out -
and that is good.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We have a choice of how we view the obstacles on our life path.
One choice makes us slaves to circumstance,
while the other empowers us, and motivates us
to follow our dreams - and our happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Principal Causes of Our Suffering
are Our Expectations and Our Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We all have our thorns - and blooms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Home is where our loved ones are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our opportunity is to visualize a kinder world.
To sing glad songs of tomorrow -
imagining a world of love -
of the whole world filled with love.
To offer our hand... often.
To breathe deeply and honor ourselves.
To pause and contemplate... just because.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The common denominator of our heroes
is that each set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Answers of Spirit are far more powerful
than the Questions of our small minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.
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